Retired Cub Dan Haren tweets from exercise bike on career

Retired MLB pitcher Dan Haren knows a thing or two about the big leagues having pitched for eight different franchises. Drafted out of Pepperdine by the Cardinals in 2001, Haren pitched two seasons in St. Louis before putting in stints with the Oakland Athletics, Arizona Diamondbacks, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Washington Nationals, Los Angeles Dodgers, Miami Marlins and finishing last season with the Chicago Cubs.

Haren’s Twitter feed is one of the more entertaining reads from the baseball universe. Recently, he reflected on random items from his thirteen year career, including his go-to drug of choice — Imodium.

TWEETS FROM THE EXERCISE BIKE

I'm on an exercise bike, bored, so here are some things about my baseball career that come to mind……

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

I went into almost every start the last few years thinking… How the hell am I gonna get these guys out

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

There's was atleast 3-4 times I thought the team plane was gonna crash.

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

I would count out the days about a month in advance to see if I was gonna pitch in Coors field.

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

One of my favorite moment ever was hitting a homer off Chris carpenter. I took my time running the bases.

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

I gave up 11 runs in Toronto and got the win one time.

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

I had to take Imodium most days I pitched to plug myself up. 💩

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

My only superstition was to make sure I had 2 glasses of wine the night before I pitched. This ties in with the Imodium,

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

I gave up so many homers cause I didn't wanna walk people. That and cause I threw 85 mph meatballs sometimes.

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

Why the hell did Bj Upton hit so many homers off me….. This probably ties into the last tweet as well. I did much better facing Melvin

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

I only hit like 5-7 people on purpose.

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

My threat to retire didn't quite work last offseason

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

Sometimes when the count was 3-1, I would just throw it down the middle and hope for the best. People pop up in batting practice right

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

Ok I'm done with the bike, time to go lift Bi's and tri's. #retiredlife

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

When your 1st baseman is pushing 300lb's, you gotta bust your ass over. https://t.co/yFvxO2J2lJ

— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016

SCHLONGED AT COORS FIELD

Late last year, Haren responded to Donald Trump’s tweet on the use of the verb schlonged, which is derived from the Yiddish shlang, literally, snake, from Middle High German slange, from Old High German slango.

When I said that Hillary Clinton got schlonged by Obama, it meant got beaten badly. The media knows this. Often used word in politics!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 23, 2015